monday—- no longer morning…
house cleaning, comes hurried and efficient- much like the many orgasms i had this morning.
i love my sweetheart— i really do. deeply. ecstatically. but- fuck me- sometimes its really just nice to be alone— to have some space. to masturbate solo. the roommates are gone. and i can drink whiskey and coffee at the kitchen table before noon without judgment as i make a birthday card with an exacto knife and modge podge—- and listen to music (slayer, revco, wayne kramer, new york dolls, etc….) with the bass on with the door open- so the whole apartment reverberates.
i got a interesting email this morning—- and a couple years ago i would not have been that surprised, even though the content is amusing. but having a porn site, people would send me naked pictures of themeslves frequently, and even though i rarely did anything with them, i still loved it- because whats better then finding a hard cock in your inbox? not a goddamn thing. but this email… was pretty funny. so funny in fact that i have to share it!
“I’m —-(name removed)—- based out of — (City)— and I cater to Women Only. I’m posting this ad in hopes of being discovered by Hollywood. I work as an Escort with an interest in doing Amateur Adult Videos. I have a fetish of a different kind and it comes in the form of a 10 inch strap-on that vibrates. Yes, it actually vibrates. I call it “The Stimmulator”. It will stimmulate the hell out of your pussy/ass. Talk about an orgasm. Why a strap-on? Simple. Safe sex at its best. One touch to your pussy/ass and I got you sold guaranteed. Women don’t have to worry about getting pregnant or catch a disease anymore. Men, no more worries about going limp and you’re also safe from catching a disease. As you can see, both genders can benefit from this new toy. The New Future of Porn. I’m hung like a Stallion and have the endurance and stamina of a black stud and that’s no lie. I have a special interest in, but not limited to, Cougars and/or Pornstars who need a permanent lover because I can keep my women satisfied guaranteed. Let me be your Pleasure-Boy. I offer very reasonable rates, $200/hour, and I do Outcalls within the city of Chicago only. I don’t travel out of state unless someone pays for my trip. I’m a well traveled/educated Gentleman that’s fluent in English, Spanish & German. I have a great sense of humor, I’m straight, clean, drug/disease free, non-smoker and I love to Hug & Kiss. I’ll always treat you like a Queen. I’m 100% Real and what you see is what you get. No fake bullshit found here. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Do not be a skeptic, ok?”
sooo—- yea. the picture says it all. happy fucking monday. so go get laid- and get the fuck off!
xxx-Morgana
